Visiting Seoul, South Korea

Almost a year ago I visited the city of Seoul in South Korea for the wedding of one of my sons to a Korean girl. I had previously met most of my future daughter-in-law's family but had never been to Korea before.

Exploring Seoul, the largest city in South Korea was not difficult. In a city of almost twelve million, one would not expect this to be the case. The Metro system is easy to navigate and taxis are incredibly reasonable and easy to get. Most drivers, however, do not speak English or it is extremely limited. But with a map of the city or an address, there is no difficulty. I had no trouble travelling around in this way and the drivers were very helpful and friendly. As a woman on my own, I did not feel uncomfortable or nervous travelling in the city by myself.

In one instance, when I was going to the home of my future daughter-in-law, there were many apartment buildings and the taxi driver drove around until he was sure he had the correct address. Another time when I was visiting one of the many palaces, the driver pulled in so I wouldn't have to cross the street and pointed over to where the entrance was.

On a visit to the National Folklore Museum, while I was looking around, a young girl came up and asked if I would like her to show me around. Although there was some English on the signage, she told me more background history than I would have known otherwise.

After discovering that I was visiting the city to attend the wedding of my son to a Korean girl, she took a special interest and showed me the entire process of life from ancient times to the present. It was very useful in helping me understand Korean life and customs as well as their wedding traditions and I found it to be an extremely interesting place to visit.

My next stop was the Gyeonbokgung Palace which means 'Palace Greatly Blessed by Heaven'. Construction of the original palace began in 1395 representing the sovereignty of the Joseon Dynasty. Razed by invasions of the Japanese between 1592 and 1598, it was not rebuilt until 1868. At that time about 500 buildings were erected on over forty hectares. I was overwhelmed by the immenseness of the grounds and the many buildings. Planning to meet my son there, I realized the futility of ever finding him. We did eventually meet at the entrance/exit gates where we watched the unique process of the changing of the guards ceremony.

Our next stop was Deokgung Palace which is also part of the Joseon Dynasty. The back of the building had secret passageways to the Russian Emissary which exist to this day. My son and I were able to catch the changing of the guards here as well. At both palaces the guards wear traditional clothing but the attire and the ceremonies are quite different at each of the palaces.

Later, being joined by my future daughter-in-law, we made our way to Insadong Street. It is the focal point of Korean traditional culture, folk crafts and traditional clothing as well as the center for artists, craftsmen and art lovers alike. Art events and festivals are held along this 700 meter long street and vehicles are not permitted during weekends. The shops were interesting and tea was offered for tasting at one shop which was a wonderful respite on an extremely cold winter day.

On another day, two companions and myself went to Myeongdong Market. With its countless shops, stores and stalls, it apparently is one of the busiest places in Seoul. Shopping malls are interspersed with street stalls selling inexpensive items with prices that can be negotiated. But even the shops offer reasonable prices. A companion, who had lost her glasses, bought two pairs for a total of just over $200, including an eye examination and for a total wait time of under one hour. It is considered the ultimate shopping experience in Seoul.

Other attractions in Seoul are Namdaemun Market which is the oldest and largest in all of Korea dating back to 1414 and the Jongmyo Shrine dedicated to the deceased kings and queens of the Joseon Dynasty. Built in 1394, the Japanese burned it down during the Seven Year War. It was later rebuilt in 1601. It still has the original tablets in memory of past kings and queens which had been hidden by peasants.

We stayed at a hotel fairly central to many of the tourist attractions and if not a good walk, at least not a long taxi ride. Surrounded by an assortment of eating establishments, the rooms were clean and wifi was available.

We were in South Korea in the middle of January which was extremely cold. But according to my daughter-in-law, May and September are the best months to visit Seoul. So I tucked that useful bit of information away to remember for any visits in the future.

Korean Wedding Customs

How do Korean weddings differ from traditional North American weddings? The differences between the two cultures becomes something that is necessary to consider for those who are entering into mixed marriages.

In my own family, two of my sons have mixed marriages. In some cases the two cultures meld and combine their different customs and in other cases, it will be strictly one way or the other. How is the best way to handle this sometimes delicate situation? Is it a decision made by the wedding couple or one made by the parents?

It is often the Asian parents who decide on whether the wedding will be American or one with their own customs since they have more strongly held traditions than do most North Americans. This may not be the case if they live in North America. But if the parents still live in Korea, they will be considerably more attached to their customs.

The ancient Korean customs of the groom travelling to the bride's house on horseback before the wedding and of the bride being transported back to the groom's house by sedan chair to live three days after the wedding, obviously is not done anymore. Nowadays there is a mix of Korean customs with some of the Western wedding traditions incorporated as was the case with my one son and daughter-in-law.

In times past also, the bride as well as the bride and groom's mothers wore hanboks consisting of a short jacket, long skirt and pantaloons. And the groom wore loose fitting trousers with a long colorful overcoat known as a gwanbok with a black hat. Nowadays it is more common for the bride and groom to wear the traditional western bridal clothes of white wedding gown for the bride and tuxedo for the groom as my son and daughter-in-law did. However, Korean customs were observed to the degree that the bride's mother and myself both wore the traditional hanboks.

Other Korean customs often observed is the exchange of gifts between the bride and groom prior to the wedding; gifts given by the bride's family to the significant kin of the groom; gifts of cash from the groom's kin to the bride, and gifts from the bride's family to the groom's friends. There is also an exchange of food and wine between both families, ritual silk given by the bride to the groom's significant kin and a gift box delivered to the bride's house the night before the wedding by friends of the groom. These customs were not observed in our case.

The most common gift for the couple is cash. Weddings are usually large with often the bride and groom not knowing many of their guests. The Korean goal is to have as many people at the wedding as possible to let it be known that the wedding is of import. Often the cash wedding gifts given at the wedding are given to the parents to help pay for the wedding. The exception to this are cash wedding gifts from close friends given directly to the wedding couple.

Following the official wedding festivities, there may be another ceremony called Pyebaek for the family members only. It is a time when the bride formally greets her new parents-in-law and food and drink are offered. This is the time the bride and groom will wear the traditional Korean wedding clothes as my son and daughter-in-law did. The custom also says that the groom will piggy-back his mother and his wife around which symbolizes his acceptance of his obligations to both of them. My son piggy-backed his wife but I declined. At this time the groom's family give cash in envelopes to the bride. The same is repeated with the bride's parents. Also both sets of parents throw chestnuts and dates into a decorated apron held by the bride and groom which they will catch. The amount of chestnuts they catch signifies the girl children they will have and the dates signify boy children.

If the Korean family have lived in the United States or Canada for some time, and particularly if their offspring is North American born, chances are the wedding will include more of the western customs and the bride and groom themselves will make the majority of the decisions regarding their wedding. This was the case with my other son and daughter-in-law.